The reduction of focus

Nitz is dead. *choke*

The termination of yet another empathic bond has resulted in his death as well as additional psychical scarring which I have yet to repair. Perhaps I am just not *splurt* empathic enough to maintain the level of care necessary for a healthy bond with a familiar of any kind. In a way, I am relieved, since recently I have begun to form a stronger level of self-reliance. Shoggothim do not enjoy relying on the talents and skills of ghaa'ghu in order to succeed, and my recent empathic bonds had begun to weaken myself as an individual.

Regardless, I have found my strength slowly increasing over time. Though not yet as strong as I was with the sunfish Xerox, I am finding great satisfaction in my ability to consume and succeed alone, without having to *splurt* worry about another life form. The dissolution of my Hurgkthorg strunthlg has also helped immensely in other ways - once again I am no longer capable of experiencing fear, sorrow, or less fortunately, rage. Instead I have focused my concentration on the quick and efficient disposal of my prey; striking quickly and accurately to dismember and envenom.

I took a trip to the Shadow Tower again. It has been a while since I have stepped inside Kalyxes' hall - I have not returned since abandoning my responsibilities to the so-called "Stalkers of the Gate". I found the required servitude to, of all things, a ghaa'ghu, to be repulsive to my elevated mental processes. The tower holds many prisoners - creatures which Kalyxes has deemed *choke* "dangerous". Most of these creatures fall easily to my attacks and their bio-matter has served well in keeping my carculgnath properly nourished. However, I had a recent and *splurt* unpleasant experience with a detestable creature called a Bezhuldaar who resides within.

Suffice it to say, some of the Bezhuldaar eyestalks possessed *choke* certain abilities which my mind were unable to resist. I spent quite some time as an unwilling, unthinking servant of this monstrosity, only managing to escape when another creature ventured into its cell, distracting it.

I must avoid these creatures in the future until such a time that I can sufficiently resist their foul magics.

Death of a sunfish

The madness has become unbearable. I usually take pride on my ability to function and process information in a rational manner, however, my empathic bond with the sunfish Xerox had, embarrassingly, become too much for my consciousness to handle. The conscious termination of our empathic bond ended in Xerox's self-combustion, and left devastating scars on my psyche. Unfortunately, for reasons that still escape me, Phyraa, the lone priestess of Gaia, was unable to restore my sanity. The ghaa'ghu Scylla however, was more than able to restore my mental processes for a not-insignificant fraction of my hoarded gold coins. *splurt* I could not think of a better use for such meaningless minerals.

I have since replaced the *choke* void in my empathic senses with a sewer rat named Nitz. You may find some amount of amusement in my choice of a bonded familiar, but these rats are incredibly resourceful creatures. I have felt my own ability to learn and process new information increase rapidly over the past few days since we've bonded. I can only imagine my power continuing to rise in an exponential fashion.

Strangely enough, my experiences in the Spiderwood seemed to have changed the way my carculgnath prefer to defend themselves. Recently I have found myself experiencing the intense desire to flagthl Rheet-Luwud and inject it into my prey with G'phikt strunthlg. My recent emotional capacity has allowed me to derive a *splut* curious enjoyment in watching my prey succumb to the incredibly potent toxins I have been engineering. A most efficient manner of termination, if I may say so.

Spiderwood

I decided to travel to the wooded area known by the local ghaa'ghu as 'Spiderwood', in the hopes of learning more about insect life. The forest is accurately named, for it is indeed full of insectoid arachnid life of varying sizes. After what I estimate to be about a day of slithering through the caverns beneath the forest, my carculgnath began to mimic the chitinous exoskeletons of the native inhabitants - essentially allowing myself to flgathl a Tyltylgm strunthlg. This was extremely helpful in protecting my vorgaal from the larger and more tenacious inhabitants of the cavern. *splurt*

Unfortunately, I could not extend this protection to Xerox, and so I was forced to carry it within my zath vorgaal during the latter part of my journey. This was not without its benefits, however - the plasmatic nature of my companion protected me from the arachnids' annoying tendency to cover me in a silky excretion. I assume they were attempting to bind me and hinder my movements. Foolish creatures.

Further down into the caverns however, I began to encounter some unsettling changes in the native inhabitants; notably a significant increase in size, and in some cases, sentience. All of them fell before me, except for the much larger species which I could only describe as 'colossal'. Easily upwards of 200 dimins in length, they proved extremely resistant even to gh'hlaunadu. Thankfully (with reluctance) a ghaa'ghu named 'Maelstrom' happened to cross my path in the deepest depths of the caverns, and assisted me in dispatching one of these giants.

After much time had passed, I reached what appeared to be the very bottom of the cavern. To my astonishment (an extremely rare reaction for a shoggoth), I had stumbled across a Lloigor *choke* - one that goes by the name Nachthla. An absolutely monstrous creature beyond descrpition, I had no desire to throw my life away in any reckless maneuvers, including alerting it to my presence in these caves. I quickly fought my way back through the caves until I could reach a location in which Kalyxes' amulet would open a portal to a.. *splurt* safer location.

A panoply of unintelligible emotions

Through the reluctant ng'flgath of a Hurgkthorg strunthlg, I have as of late been experiencing what ghaa'ghu refer to as "emotions" - a rather uncomfortable experience. This is not without its benefits, however. I have begun to develop a deeper understanding of my prey, and with that, an understanding of the more useful emotions such as hate, anger, and fear. In fact, I've also learned how to ng'flgath G'kaxmang strunthlg, which have enabled me to channel my hatred and anger into a wild frenzy of bloodlust - a "berserk state", in the language of the ghaa'ghu. This has greatly increased my ferocity while feeding. A great advantage.

Another curious side-effect of my Hurgkthorgu has been a strange.. how should I say.. desire? A desire to.. connect with another life form - one of the extraplanar entities, called a "sunfish". The one I have chosen to bond with refers to itself as Xerox, but beyond that, I seem to have great difficulty processing its thoughts. As different as a shoggothim is to a ghaa'ghu, Xerox is to myself. I find my mind constantly bombarded by a bewildering array of thoughts and emotions, but I also find myself growing exponentially stronger. The creature is also incredibly useful whilst feeding - it seems to use its own plasmatic body mass to burn and incinerate my prey. It matters not to me should the organic materials I absorb be charred or raw - it is all the same to a shoggothim.

It also seems as though my carculgnath are reacting well to this bond. They are constantly changing form and density; creating new organs and absorbing old ones; awakening new and powerful strunthlg within my mind.

I seem to be experiencing a new emotion right now.. it is strange. Excitement.

*splurt*

Greetings ghaa'ghu! Welcome to my blog of random gurglings. *splurt*

I will do the best I can to document my adventures through the land of Lost Souls, whatever that means. There exists no word in Ngaathgl to describe what most ghaa'ghu refer to when they say "soul", and it would be preposterous for any Shoggothim - let alone yours truly - to become "lost" by any meaning of the word. *splurt*

*choke*

Please come with me as I wander this desolate land in search of organic materials - if you didn't know already, I must constantly consume raw organic matter in order to bglaz - in order to grow. It is my ultimate goal to some day be large and strong enough to garner the personal attention of my secret master, Lord Cthulhu of Ry'leh! All hail Cthulhu! Ia!