Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The reduction of focus

Nitz is dead. *choke*

The termination of yet another empathic bond has resulted in his death as well as additional psychical scarring which I have yet to repair. Perhaps I am just not *splurt* empathic enough to maintain the level of care necessary for a healthy bond with a familiar of any kind. In a way, I am relieved, since recently I have begun to form a stronger level of self-reliance. Shoggothim do not enjoy relying on the talents and skills of ghaa'ghu in order to succeed, and my recent empathic bonds had begun to weaken myself as an individual.

Regardless, I have found my strength slowly increasing over time. Though not yet as strong as I was with the sunfish Xerox, I am finding great satisfaction in my ability to consume and succeed alone, without having to *splurt* worry about another life form. The dissolution of my Hurgkthorg strunthlg has also helped immensely in other ways - once again I am no longer capable of experiencing fear, sorrow, or less fortunately, rage. Instead I have focused my concentration on the quick and efficient disposal of my prey; striking quickly and accurately to dismember and envenom.

I took a trip to the Shadow Tower again. It has been a while since I have stepped inside Kalyxes' hall - I have not returned since abandoning my responsibilities to the so-called "Stalkers of the Gate". I found the required servitude to, of all things, a ghaa'ghu, to be repulsive to my elevated mental processes. The tower holds many prisoners - creatures which Kalyxes has deemed *choke* "dangerous". Most of these creatures fall easily to my attacks and their bio-matter has served well in keeping my carculgnath properly nourished. However, I had a recent and *splurt* unpleasant experience with a detestable creature called a Bezhuldaar who resides within.

Suffice it to say, some of the Bezhuldaar eyestalks possessed *choke* certain abilities which my mind were unable to resist. I spent quite some time as an unwilling, unthinking servant of this monstrosity, only managing to escape when another creature ventured into its cell, distracting it.

I must avoid these creatures in the future until such a time that I can sufficiently resist their foul magics.